Rev. Dr. Michel Faulkner reflects on what happens when the thing that defined your life is over, and why most people are not ready for what comes next.
By Rev. Dr. Michel Faulkner
It’s pretty common that most people spend years building their life around something they believe is going to carry them forward. It might be a career, a dream, or a role that gives them identity and direction. As long as that thing is working, there is a sense of clarity about who they are and where they are going.
What most people are not prepared for is what happens when it ends.
That moment comes for everyone, whether it is expected or not. For athletes, it often comes suddenly, and when it does, it forces a question that is easy to ignore while everything is going well. The question is not about performance or success. It is about identity.
When I sat down with Rev. Lee Rouson, that is where our conversation went. People see the years in the NFL, the college success, and assume the path was steady. What they do not see is what happens when that path changes
The Dream Doesn’t Prepare You for the Ending
Lee described how his vision for football was tied to something bigger than the game itself. He saw it as a way to create opportunity, to take care of his family, and to become a positive role model. Like many athletes, he understood early that football could open doors that would otherwise remain closed.
“I wanted to buy my mother a house,” he told me. “I wanted to be a positive role model.”
That kind of vision gives purpose to the work. It creates discipline and focus. But it also ties identity closely to the outcome.
For a time, everything moved in that direction. He played six years with the New York Giants and then moved on to the Cleveland Browns. From the outside, it looked like the kind of career most people hope for.
But transitions do not announce themselves in advance.
When It Ends, It Doesn’t Always Make Sense
His final season did not unfold the way he expected. Injuries began to change his role, and the opportunities that once felt secure became uncertain. There was a moment when he realized the decision was no longer about what he wanted to do, but about what was happening around him.
He told me that when the call came, it felt like something deeper than just a career change. It felt like a darkness had settled over him, something he could not fully explain at the time.
“I realized there was a darkness,” he said. “I didn’t know how to describe it, but I knew it was there.”
That is the part of transition people do not talk about. It is not just the loss of a role. It is the loss of structure, identity, and the sense of direction that role provided.
You Can’t Outwork That Kind of Transition
What made this more difficult was that it was not just about football. At the same time, he was dealing with challenges in his personal life, including struggles in his marriage and questions about where he stood as a man outside of the game.
He described it as a period where nothing he tried seemed to work. The same mindset that had carried him through football did not apply in the same way. The drive to fix things, to push forward, and to control the outcome was no longer producing results.
“Nothing worked,” he said. “Everything failed.”
That is where many people get stuck. They try to approach a deeper issue with the same tools that worked in a different season of life. When those tools fail, it creates frustration and confusion.
What Holds You When Everything Else Falls Away
For Lee, that period lasted about two years. He described it as a darkness that he could not escape on his own. What changed was not his circumstances first, but his understanding.
He said that during that time, he came to realize that the issue was not about trying to rebuild his life the way it was before. It was about understanding who he was without the game.
“I had to realize that I belonged to God,” he said. “It wasn’t about serving. It was about surrendering.”
That shift is difficult, because it requires letting go of control in a way that most people resist. It moves the focus away from performance and back to identity.
Everyone Faces This Moment
As we talked through it, one thing became clear. This is not just an athlete’s story.
Every person will face a transition where something they relied on is no longer there. It might not be football, but the effect is the same. Something changes, and the question becomes whether identity was built on something temporary or something that can carry through every season.
That is not a question most people ask until they have to.
And by the time they do, the answer matters more than anything else.
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About the Author
Rev. Dr. Michel Faulkner is a contributor to MissionWake News and co-host of Football, Family, and Faith, where conversations explore the intersection of sports, leadership, and faith.
Listen to the podcast and learn more:
https://www.goalpostsandbeyond.com
